Well last night around 11pm I get a Vine notification that Richard (The man who killed my 23 month old son) is being released next Thursday I expect that to be changed again. I was upset last night. I wasn’t in panic mode but I was deeply sad. So after an hour I decided to just try and sleep after praying some and I slept through until 4am. I woke up with an intense headache and could easily stay in bed all day but I can’t. I am going to take a long shower after I eat because honestly I can’t remember if I ate dinner last night. I know I made a sandwich when I came home from therapy because I didn’t eat lunch because I had my team meeting and was trying to get an Uber at the same time and was running late. I am hoping that is why I have a headache just because I didn’t eat and not stress. I have a google hangouts video conference call at 9am so I better pull it together before then. I have ads running on google for my business to get more clients I think I am going to pause the ads because right now I can’t take on anything else work wise and next month I start grading SAT essays I think full time for 2 months. That along with my client load is plenty, and now with this added stress..just can’t do it.
Right after I got the news last night a friend pinged me on yahoo. I forgot I even had that on my phone. I talked for a few minutes and then just shut it down. Was not in the mood to talk to anyone last night.
I still haven’t really settled on my safe place to go during my meditation. My sitting on rock in Lincoln pond brings back too many thoughts of my parents I just don’t want to think about when in my safe spot so I think that has been excluded.
— September 1, 2016