Today has been a rough day. It actually has me in a very depressed mood where I just feel like I want to shut down. I had to complete a 60 question core competency annual review on myself. Each question we had to score ourselves from 1 to 5. Most of my responses were a 4, there were some 3’s and only one or two I scored myself a 5. Mind you, I own my own freelancing business, but one of my clients is a somewhat big client. Annual reviews is something I was used to when I was working at a company on Wall Street not doing what I do now. The whole review actually makes me want to reconsider my business model in whole. Possibly even dropping that client eventually unless new terms can be made. I am actually working on a new business that will help people who have anxiety issues and find it hard to work outside the house be able to work from home doing small or large projects on a freelance basis, but the platform is not only for those who have anxiety issues, it’s for anyone. It’s in the final stages of being released and as soon as it is I will be letting you all know!
Anyways, I am all for positive feedback and even some constructive criticism when needed. But today I just felt like a piece of crap, I was told I overrated myself which made me feel awful and unappreciated. I work my ASS off for this client and I feel that I have to dumb myself down to get noticed? I bill them way less than I should bill them and have been promised the moon and back and have seen nothing pan out. Maybe their way of knocking me down was so they felt I didn’t deserve to increase my rate. 2017 is my year of moving forward in ALL areas of my life, not about another person knocking me down.
— January 10, 2017