Nightmare

Journal: Waking up again in a panic from a dream I can’t remember

11pm you gotta be fucking kidding me. That is a time I woke up all sweaty and in a panic. My hair is soaked. My head hurts. I woke up with my eyes closed not wanting to know what time it is. 11pm. Sigh. I have no idea what the dream was. I didn’t go to my safe place before bed I just kinda fell asleep about 9pm. All I could do is wash up at sink because if I take a shower I will wake up with one hell of a sore neck from sleeping with a wet head. So I put my hair in a pony tail to stay cool. I usually don’t sleep with a pony tail because it will give me a headache or neck ache but I need the coolness now. 

 I have to be able to go to the store early like 7am so I can get some cash for Elijah in the morning and at this rate I don’t know.  It’s still early enough to recoup my sleep. Maybe I will remember my dream. 

 I think I will listen to some music and go to my safe place and hopefully I will fall asleep. I just took a klonopin  couple hours ago and it’s too soon to take anything now.  I hate this. 

 5:30am I fell asleep really fast last night. I used my safe place as the therapy room again. I don’t think I had any dreams about it but I kept trying to mentally stay in the room and I was not talking again and was more of a staring match. I was trying to think of feelings to talk about but nothing would come to surface. So my mind would drift to what I have to do today etc so every time I would catch myself drift off I would put myself back in the therapy room. I guess all that back and forth caused me to sleep because I checked my email before I journaled here last night and saw that the meeting I had yesterday the guy sent me a contract and hired me so I just accepted it and turned my work status to not accepting anymore work because I have plenty to do. I slept solid from about 11:30 to 5:30 which is huge for me. So I should be able to get to the store this morning. 

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