anxiety journals Vacation

Sunday journal: Finally a good night sleep and a good breakfast out!

Sunday journal

?I went to bed last night at about 9pm slept straight through to 2:30am and was awaken by the word being repeated in my head almuerzo which in English means lunch. I was confused. Am I supposed to meet someone for lunch? I am not hungry lol. Odd. I am shocked I slept that long in one stretch since I did sleep 3 or 4 hours during the day. No pillow trick tonight. Just Christian music. I did have a lot of anxiety the last two days which wipes me out physically maybe that’s why I slept more than a couple hours. My son wants to take me for breakfast in the morning again and go to church. I am turned off by church now.? I am not sure about either. I will pray about it and see. Even just to get out would be good.?

?I woke up and slept straight through until 6am wow. I am very thankful for that sleep. I see Joyce Meyer will be in Tampa in a couple weeks. I have been saying for years how I would love to see her in person. I just don’t know how I would do with the crowds and going by myself. I would definitely take an Uber to an event like that just for parking alone but it’s inside I worry about and there is no one I know that would go to it. Maybe I will post it to my Facebook wall and see if anyone is going and then pray about it. It’s 3 days long. It would be cool to get a nice hotel suite for 2 nights and and make a mini staycation lol. She is getting up there in years and not sure how many more years she will be traveling plus our testimonies are very close since her dad raped her as a child for many years and talks about it a lot. But look at how strong she is now. That is why I admire her.?

?Last night I went on plenty of fish and could not believe how many scammers there are on that site!!!! I didn’t even post a pic and got responses from people who I can tell are from overseas but they claim to live local. Anyways I deleted the app. I was bored and wanted something to do. I did talk with a friend in Sarasota by FaceTime for a few minutes. I haven’t heard from him in a while. His Dad is visiting him from Egypt and he is going to be gone for 3 weeks to bring him back and visit. He said it takes 2 days to get there. I admire anyone who can travel. I want to be able to do that one day. I want to visit mount airy NC and considered moving there. But my therapy is here and I just don’t feel God leading me in that direction at this time.?

?Well looks like we are going out for breakfast and I don’t have much anxiety about driving there. I had an eggs Benedict with smoked salmon it was so good I enjoyed it. I had some anxiety when I got there not sure why. I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath. Kenny was talking about my mother and Jesus church and the 90 day tithe I mentioned and it was all overwhelming so I had to ask him kindly to change the topic but I did not say that it was because I am anxious. ?

?I worked on my business for about an hour and then had to stop. I feel a little anxious and tired so I may just spend the day relaxing. Too many triggers were talked about this morning. My next therapy appointment is Wednesday I think. I hope I can last that long only because my anxiety has been on the rise lately.? I haven’t talked to anyone new this weekend which has been a goal of mine. I may do that today because I don’t want today to be a depressive day.?

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