depression driving relationships Travel updates

Journal: My goal of starting over in new city update

So the latest on me wanting to move out of state. As many of you know (Does anyone actually read my blog?) I want to move out of state to get away from my youngest son’s murderer who was recently released. Those plans “may” have to be put on hold for financial reasons, BUT I believe in God’s timing. I believe God will make a way when the time is right. I had a few set backs this year which makes it hard to relocate or do much of anything, especially with my back which is getting much better thanks to switching to a Paleo diet, a new bed and learning to do my best to reduce stress which is easier said than done.

My biggest fear/challenge is driving to North Carolina. I think of ways I can make the 14-hour drive not so daunting. Take non-highways, have my oldest son do some of the driving, take as long as I need to drive there, even if it takes me a week. This is the shitty part of having no man or real true friends that can help me out. I DREAM of days when I don’t fry in the southern heat in the summer and experience REAL seasons! This is a real Goal that I want to work on. After my last experience with therapy, I am not sure I want to go that route again. Maybe I will try and find a new church and connect that way. Even my old church “shunned me” for me living with a guy I was in a relationship for only 6 months or so. Imagine a packed church and no one will sit next to you or talk to you. Thats my sons and I experience of late. I still read my bible every day and do my best to live the way God wants me to even without a church home.

I have been a bit depressed about the whole situation. I know I shouldn’t be, but I am and it sucks. I know God doesn’t want anyone to be alone, but I am no longer willing to sacrifice my morals and beliefs just to find a guy that has the same plans as I do. Why is it so hard to find an equally yoked Christian man?

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